
Your guide to Jersey Shore:
What will I do on Thursday nights from now on? Tonight is the season finale of Jersey Shore. Jersey Shore is trashy TV at its finest. No longer will I spend my
Thursday nights making fun of
Snooki, the situation, and DJ Pauly D. Even though there were only 9 glorious episodes, I am some how emotionally connected to these crazies. Apparently now the situation and S
nooks are "an item" and no longer just "hooking up". I have even incorporated their language into mine. For instance, I spent my day doing
GTL. For people who live under rocks...
that's Gym, tan, laundry. (Even though I gave up the tanning bed..bronzing powder counts) Other new terms that have come from the show:
Creature: some other girl/ guy I can go "creep on"
Hippo: fat girls
Grenades: bad wing women
Some how these "
guidos and
guidettes" are famous now. Traveling from city to
city doing promo tours and signing autographs. Who knew all you have to do to be famous is tan
alot, get your nails done, and get drunk...damn, I perfected that back in college. If you haven't yet seen the insanity you need to catch up to the rest of America. Be prepared for lots of fighting (duh-
that's what "juice heads" do), lots of tanning, boys spending more time getting ready than the girls, affliction muscle tees, and just good mindless entertainment.
Here are some of my favorite quotes:
*Everybody at the Shore definitely knows The Situation. As far as I know, everybody loves The Situation, and if you don't love The Situation, I'm gonna make you love The Situation.
*It's obvious that
Sammi has a crush on me... it goes back to the days of prehistoric kindergarten.
*
Snooki: I'm not trashy, unless I drink too much.
*
Snooki: If I had to have sex with one person here, it would probably be him, because I know he's a nice guy, he's gotta be clean
*Pauly D: There are some girls who are respectful, who you have to actually treat like girls, uh, human beings.
*Pauly D: She just doesn't want to feel like a trash bag because she has a boyfriend and she kissed me with her tongue
*Jenni: I left the club early because I didn't want to cheat on my boyfriend, and I felt like eating ham and
drinkin' water. Ham.
*Angelina: Yo, I will cut your hair while you're sleeping!
*Mike: I wait till the last minute to shave, I wait till the last minute to put the shirt on 'cause you feel fresh. These are rules to live by, shave last minute, haircut the day-of, maybe some tanning and the gym. You gotta do the
guido handbook.
OK, this could go on forever! Just watch the show kids, its an instant self esteem booster. You automatically feel better about yourself. If you need to catch up on any episodes, I have all of them saved on my
Tivo.